Balls Deep…

Tomorrow, Nepali citizens will go to the polls to vote for the party who will get to draw the new Nepali constitution, which is meant to fill the void left after the disastrous fall of the homicidal monarchy of just a few years ago. (yes, it’s a long story, look it up)

I’m not going to get into too many specifics about this, but my feelings about being here go something like this…

Anybody out there ever watch Bugs Bunny cartoons? You remember those encounters between Bugs and the Tasmanian Devil, and somehow Bugs would find himself in Taz’s boiling hot cauldron, and he’s just sitting there thinking that he’s taking a nice warm bath, confusedly watching his marsupial nemesis cutting carrots and potatoes to add to the stew? In a way, that’s us, 3 travelers taking a nice warm bath, or in our case, an innocent adventure in Nepal. Everything’s going just fine, we’re having a great time, what could possibly go wrong?

But I’m feeling the water get hotter, and I can sense that maybe soon, this warm bath will start bubbling. The water’s ready to boil, and all we can do is watch. Bombs have been blasting in and around Kathmandu all week. Nobody seems all that concerned, it’s just one of those things that happens with politics here. But everywhere I go, I see different flags in different neighborhoods meant to hail different party affiliations. There’s like 70 different parties fighting to draw up the new constitution, and not one of them really shows a clear hold of Nepali loyalty. Indeed, a recent polling determined that 10% of Nepali voters are going for the Maoists, 10% for the royal party, and 10% for the congress party. 60% of voters were undecided! Most people that I’ve talked to plan to decide who they’re going to vote for once they get into the polling stations. There aren’t any prevalent leaders here with any credibility or enough clout to sway the masses. Imagine America during the revolution, but in this context, no George Washington figure, no Thomas Jeffersons, no John Adams’, no Franklins, no hancock’s, not even a fucking patrick henry.

It’s anybody’s game, and no matter who wins, some group is just not going to play by the rules. This is not going to be seen as a free and fair election, even if it turns out to be one. People will be pissed no matter who gets it. At least some degree of chaos will ensue- there will be people demanding recounts, demanding rebellion, demanding civil war.

I’m not saying that these things are going to happen necessarily- Nepal could surprise itself. And I hope sincerely that it does. But the recipe that I’m seeing is one for disaster, not democracy.

Lets just re-examine that poll for one moment. If the Maoists, at 10%, have as much of a chance of winning as any other party, and they’ve already proven themselves a violent, coercive bunch of terrorizing pitch-fork throwers, then doesn’t that mean that this whole election is pretty much bullshit? By the very nature of their political ideaology, they have no business drawing up a constitution for the future of a nation.  If the Maoists win, there’s going to be an uproar.

But wait, lets say they DON’T win, you think they’re just going to sit back and play nice? What are you, stupid?? The Maoists have muscled their way into the political sphere through guerrilla warfare and bomb threats, among other shady tactics. When we talked to the embassy the other day, they advised us to not leave the country before four days after the election, because if shit went down in the plains on the way to the border, there would be absolutely no way for us to get help. They know that when the Maoists play, they play dirty.

We’ll just have to wait and see…

-Das